It is no secret that our culture is begging for insights regarding purpose. Some of the best selling books of the last few years have addressed this theme. It seems that all generations alive now are interested. The Baby-boomers are nearing the end of their time on earth and are not sure why they lived. They trusted the rationalism of modernism and the scientific promise that all problems could be solved in the test tube. They were provided with most everything they requested, but still they wonder what it’s all about. They rode the stock market to a level of wealth their fathers never dreamed of. They conquered space and stopped the Cold War. They bought second homes and multiple cars. They embrace leisure travel to all parts of the world yet find themselves beset by doubts as to their destination. They seem cut off from their past by their existentialism and unsure of their future by their relativism.
The “Gen Xers” aren’t any more secure. They just know they don’t want to settle for what their predecessors did. The scientific method proved unworthy of worship. The mind was not able to grasp the whole of human existence. Feelings alone won’t satisfy the longing of a soul. They have been passionate about not being modernist, but they don’t seem to have figured out how to live for something beyond themselves. Boasting in their “post-modernism,” they define themselves by what they are against, but are still searching for what they are here for.
The younger generations just coming into adulthood are trying to make sense of the previous leaders and maybe will be a little quicker to ask the right questions about purpose, but they are being assaulted by a culture of escapism through drugs, entertainment, and passivism. As the birthrate dwindles, there are fewer to take care of the debts incurred by previous generations, and they are less inclined to tackle problems made by those who came before. They would like to know the meaning of it all too.
It is a terrible time to waste a life. There is a story in Old Testament about a wasted life that could help us. Maybe you are familiar with the story of Absalom. He was a son of David, the king of Israel. He had great potential. He was the most handsome young man in the land. He was a king’s son. He could have pretty much anything he wanted. The kingdom was large, and he was surely destined to rule somewhere. But an awful event became a turning point for him. His beautiful sister, Tamar, was raped by her half-brother Amnon, another of David’s sons by different wife. Amnon schemed a way to get Tamar alone and took advantage of her. David heard of the dreadful deed but did not execute Amnon because he was his firstborn. Absalom was furious at this injustice. Refusing to confront his hurt or allow Tamar to confront it, he allowed his resentment to direct his life. He could only think of how he could avenge this awful deed. He hated Amnon and resented his father, the king, for the perceived injustice related to the event. David made overtures towards him even after he murdered Amnon, inviting him back from exile to live in the land and ultimately to be reconciled to his father. But he was too focused on the pain of personal injustice. He would sit at the gates of Jerusalem and draw the hearts of the king’s subjects to himself. Finally he led a subversive rebellion and actually ran David and his closest supporters out of the city and across the Jordan River. As the battle continued, Absalom’s massive hair was caught in the branch of a tree with him left dangling. David’s army killed him there.
So he died hanging from a tree, which speaks of being cursed. “Cursed is everyone who hangs from a tree” (Galatians 3:13). But even worse is this telling verse:
Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and set up for himself the pillar that is in the King's Valley, for he said, "I have no son to keep my name in remembrance." He called the pillar after his own name, and it is called Absalom's monument to this day.
2 Samuel 18:18 (ESV)
Earlier in the story we discover that Absalom did have three sons and a daughter (whose name was Tamar) but here we find that no son would be able to carry on his legacy. He had to put his name on a monument in order to be remembered.
Now there is a wasted life! All that potential—all that remained was a stone with his name on it. It could have been a building, a business, a ministry or a grant, but no son or daughter to carry on what really matters. It wouldn’t have been necessary that it was one of his biological children. His father, David, had made Mephibosheth his son even though he was the natural son of Jonathan.
THE ANATOMY OF A WASTED LIFE Absalom chose to harbor his hurt. When he saw Tamar, his sister, in pain, he wouldn’t address it or allow her to. He chose to internalize it, and it began to narrow his life’s focus. He couldn’t see except through the eyes of pain. In fact, it was pain that shaped his life rather than purpose. The “father-wound” defined him. His motto was something like, “My pain is your fault.” Getting even was more important than getting well. He would not admit his hurt, and therefore it continued to do its destruction in the darkness of a closed soul.
One of the reasons I believe the Psalms are divinely placed in the Bible is the vulnerability of the psalmist. There are many who start off with confessions of pain and doubt but end with triumph when a new perspective is granted (Psalm 73). But others just continue with the pain and close without a positive note (Psalm 88). The fact that the hurt is exposed is instructive. God’s grace is so aggressive that often all that is needed is the admission of pain and grace rushes in like light into a dark room when the window is open.
Absalom spends precious time scheming and planning to avenge his pain. He uses all his energy to dishonor his father and prove him wrong. But his subversion is not just against his father, but the king. Could it be that much of the irrational rebellion of some children is an attempt to dishonor the father or the King (God) whom they think caused their pain? God could have stopped it and didn’t. He must be somewhat to blame. Was this the reason he had no legacy to carry on his name? Was he so focused on proving them wrong that he had no time to build his sons? His could not have been a joyful life. If he did have a picnic with the family, he could not enjoy it.
An old country preacher once said, “It won’t do any good to preach the measles if you have the mumps. The congregation will all go to bed with the mumps.” They catch what has caught us. Our verbal instructions won’t make much difference.
I don’t think it was an accident that Absalom died hanging from a tree. It was God’s testimony of his life. Those who refuse grace have no other end. Those who embrace grace will find someone else on the tree in their stead. THE EXAMPLE OF A LIFE WELL LIVED There are many comparisons and contrasts in Absalom and Jesus. Both were sons of David. Both suffered injustice. We have already looked at Absalom. Look at Jesus. Born of a virgin, he was called a bastard. He was rejected by his own people and even his own family. He was mocked because of his humble beginnings and he died outside the city in the place of criminals. Isaiah had prophesied that those who saw him would “esteem him stricken of God.” In other words, all those who saw Jesus crucified outside the gates of Jerusalem assumed he was being punished by God for what he had done. He was getting divine justice. He died in ignominy. No one without divine revelation understood what was really happening.
But Jesus revealed the meaningful life. His response to personal injustice gives us not only a model but a power to live beyond it. He lived with a purpose that defined him rather than being defined by pain. At age 12, he responded to his mother who was scolding him for not keeping up with the caravan traveling away from the city after the feast, “Did you not know that I would be about my father’s business?” He was living for one purpose alone—to honor his Father. Maybe at this early age he didn’t know everything that he would have to do in life. He did know one thing. Life was about honoring his Father. Without that single focus, life gets too complicated to figure out very quickly. It doesn’t really matter who you marry, where you live, what you do as a vocation if you aren’t living for the purpose you were created for . . . to honor your Father.
He lived with divine perspective. Because he lived to honor his Father, he was given the ability to see the sovereignty of God working through each and every event in life. He believed that nothing was random in God’s world. He knew the biblical perspective on history. God had used every choice of every man and woman to bring his purpose to fruition in time. No one had distracted or delayed his intentions. Knowing this meant he could find God in every event and embrace his grace offered there.
I am told that the initiation rite for the Cherokee warrior which marked his acceptance as a man concluded with him sitting blindfolded on a stump alone all night. He was aware of the wild beasts and the ferocious elements of nature. If he stayed there all night, he would be allowed to enter the ranks of manhood. At sunrise the blindfold would be lifted. He would discover that his father had been silently beside him all night.
God doesn’t have to shout for those with divine perspective to know he is present. His promise is enough. His past performance is sufficient. The cross proves it, and the resurrection guarantees it. Perspective is a gift to those living for the purpose of honoring God. Those who choose a lesser purpose can see what is right before their eyes. Blind to his sovereignty and goodness, they discuss the unknown and doubt the obvious.
Jesus had the power to do what he could see. He not only knew people needed to be forgiven, he could forgive. He lived his life by the same power that raised him from the grave. It is the same power that came at Pentecost to indwell believers. We have the model and the means to live a purposeful life beyond the tyranny of injustice and pain.
But that is not all. He has given us the privilege of sharing in his legacy. Jesus spent his life with twelve. When he died, most would have said his life was a tragedy. He died young with no wife or kids to carry on. He did not have his name on any monuments or buildings. In fact one of the reasons he was crucified was his prediction that the temple in Jerusalem would be destroyed. But those twelve turned into 3,000 and then into a movement that swept through the known world and continues today to infect every culture on the face of the earth. More people have lived and died for that name than any other name in history, and we are just getting started. As we live for the same purpose and enjoy the same perspective, we have the privilege of making disciples of Jesus, and their fruit goes to our account as well as his.
Why would you settle for monuments when you could have sons? There are thousands waiting for someone to father and mother them. They long for someone without a political agenda to care for them. It is not too late for any who are still alive. Retirement can be better if lived for others. The prime years are not too full to include investing in the next generations. Even teenagers can start making decisions now that will positively affect the generation of your grandchildren.
Someone might ask, “What if Jesus comes back soon?” I can assure you he won’t scold you for living to give your life away. But wasted time will lead to a wasted life.
Your life is too precious to live defined by pain, fear, doubt, and meaninglessness. Today is your moment of change. Address your pain. Forgive! Embrace your life and trust God’s grace to make today meaningful. The rest will take care of itself.
SYNERGY - Better Together: October 01, 2010 click for more > Five Pillars of New Testament Discipleship: : October 15, 2010 click for more > Family Reunion Retreat: December 03, 2010 click for more >
